This website uses cookies so that we can provide you with the best user experience possible. If you received a promotion *for the specific and lone reason* that you were “brutal” then that’s one of the exceptions that worked for you. To drain the situation of all irelivent factors, and present the facts as they stand. Enrich your vocabulary with the English Definition dictionary I’ve seen that same sentiment expressed in other posts and articles, as well. It’s been a few days and I’m still not completely over the shock. I learn something from you in every meeting. Thank you again for writing. Don’t try to be tactful or nice and don’t try to be brutal either. And, there is nothing positive about “brutal” honesty when the brutal part is for its own sake. When someone is brutally honest with me, I probably had it coming. You begin to question your sanity. Hi Danielle. I’ve never said and hopefully have never implied that one should “sugarcoat” the reality. Love the article! Usually we can be honest in such a way that it effectively communicates the point while still allowing the other person to feel good about themselves. I have been known to be ‘brutally honest’ but I can tell you with all certainty that this was in no way meant to harm or be brutal. Thank you! If neither of us say anything, neither of us know, neither of us get what we would like. Also in agreement. And, a small percentage of the time, there might need to be brutality in that honesty.”. And, I’m sorry you had that uncomfortable experience. No sugar coating……straight to the point. Although there was truth to what she was saying her timing and delivery were way off. If “brutally honest” comes into play – one is sourrounded the wrong people. Thanks for your wonderful use of words again Bob. This means that every time you visit this website you will need to enable or disable cookies again. Lauren: Thank you. Also receive Bob Burg's weekly Endless Referrals Action Tips (videos) via email and build your business...The Go-Giver Way! The theory going around that you have to lay it out flat and lay down the law hard has damaged the way most view leadership. It’s a very numbing feeling. Again, greatly appreciate your taking the time to write. I appreciate your very kind words! My Thought: Consider the source. As my friend, People Skills Authority and Coach, Kate Nasser teaches, “Civility doesn’t weaken your message; it helps others to hear & embrace it.”, And, a very tough but successful General and later U.S. president, Dwight D. Eisenhower even said: “You don’t lead by hitting people over the head—that’s assault, not leadership.”. They have quite the following….but not with me. I can tell what works with me. In my opinion anyway. Thank you for sharing such profound wisdom with us! I don’t take the word brutal and literally apply the definition of the word to brutal honesty. The name itself is derived from the more traditional Malalai, which was the name of a 19th century female Afghan freedom fighter. I couldn’t agree with you more. Meaning, pronunciation, picture, example sentences, grammar, usage notes, synonyms and more. However, where it is appropriate and where it is not, depends on the situation. Thank you, Steena. To me being brutally honest means being honest to the core. Few people want to be yelled and screamed at, made to feel wrong, or otherwise berated. honestly definition: 1. in a way that is honest: 2. used to emphasize disapproval: 3. in a way that is honest: . It’s a persona, like any actor. Continually recurring to the mind; unforgettable: a haunting melody. A tactful speaker can communicate the message clearly and empower the receiver to take action with positive change instead of drowning in some form of negative emotion. then I’ll be open to correct anything sugested, if I can see it’ll make a better result. And, for that matter, that to be less than brutal in your honesty is to somehow be less honest or authentic? Required fields are marked *. When I speak in front of 50 people, 500 people or 15,000 people in an auditorium, my goal is to touch the lives of the individuals in the audience. A love story about four strangers whose lives are changed by the death of a professional stargazer. Meaning of hauntingly. Personally, I have found that people are much more interested in listening when I don’t “Sucker punch” them first. If you’re trying to be anything but honest, you’re not trying to be honest, right? My husband is always tactful, and I go back and forth between tactful and very direct. Whenever possible, best to be honest without being brutal. Not just when they’ve had enough of whatever criticism they are about to share with me. Adverb for strange, weird, fear-inspiring. Continually recurring to the mind; unforgettable. I love the post. Honesty is what is the action/necessity, with “brute” or “blunt” or “tact” is the adjective of how it is carried out. The more the leader learns about individual personality styles and communication preferences there can be efficiency gains. But will continue to do so (occasionally) because I’m well aware of it’s effectiveness. Hi Bob – I agree with your point. I say Passionate because when we truly Love-Care about somebody we are coming from a Passionate place and all we are attempting to do is Help… and Compassionate because when being Passionate one must also come from a place of Compassion. Strictly Necessary Cookie should be enabled at all times so that we can save your preferences for cookie settings. New Yorkers are brutally honest, and they’re not necessarily hurtful. Meaning of haunting. Just my opinion, of course. You would think being tactful would get you further (and maintain relationships), but look at the people who have the highest rated TV and radio shows. This does not mean that they are less than authentic when in front of the camera or microphone; merely that they are playing a role, like any actor. Whilst on the topic…I often interpret “Let’s be honest” as…I am inferring that my opinion is the truth, and therefore you are wrong. The Go-Giver has been published in over 29 languages and has sold over 975,000 copies. I’ll also go back to what I said in my last response, which I said in the original article, that there’s a time and place for everything. Acknowledge what you think is GOOD – and you have to really mean it!!!!! There’s never a need for verbal abuse. While, of course, I don’t have any knowledge of the situation other than what you wrote above, I’ll reiterate something I said in the original post and that is: “Being ‘brutally honest’ is often more about the person speaking than about the person they are speaking to.” So, to the degree you can, try not to take it personally. Putting aside the value of kindness (for its own sake) for a moment, even if only for practical reasons being tactful is much more likely to ensure that the person will not only not be defensive and resistant, but is much more likely to be open to and accepting of your advice. Importance of honesty in life. You provided lots of great wisdom and very well-stated. It was a tongue lashing truly. It’s not weak, it’s not coddling, it’s being straight, but without vague name-calling and other verbal abuse. This “brutally honest” mentality has been the downfall of many so-called leaders. People like brutally honesty more than others are willing to admit. Sadly, we all need a wake up call at times. The new heart-breaking lov The phrase “I’m going to be brutally honest” is typically expressed as a pre-cursor to warn others (not the person it’s aimed at) that an opinionated view is about to follow. Thank you for sharing with us! Thanks again for sharing your wisdom with us! . Bob – right on the money. Indeed, sometimes difficult and uncomfortable things need to be said (and honesty in saying them is very important!). I agree that tact, diplomacy and kindness will usually get you much further, but you touched on a very important phrase “less than authentic.”, Being tactful comes across as phony to a lot of people, especially to people who are very direct. No wonder she’s such a highly-respected coach on the topic of people skills. Which means the information itself is brutal enough! Adverb for characteristic of great strength or forcefulness. Any other agenda is dishonest. (hɔːntɪŋ ) adjective [usually ADJECTIVE noun] Haunting sounds, images, or words remain in your thoughts because they are very beautiful or sad . Imagine what would happen if a CEO called a subordinate to his/her office and said, “I want to be brutally honest with you. Then: Do what you know is best…. Your email address will not be published. Please know we respect your privacy and your information will not be shared. Dee: Thank you for joining the conversation. hauntingly definition in English dictionary, hauntingly meaning, synonyms, see also 'haunting',hunting',haunt',haughtily'. That phrase does not exist within their language – it is a North American phrase. I’m not so sure people would appreciate the brutally honest insight as it’s most often about the person being brutally honest and their “stuff” and has nothing to do with the recipient of that honesty. I have been the recipient of “brutal honesty” and although, I didn’t agree with her reason to address her honesty like this, I accepted it. Definition of haunting in the Idioms Dictionary. You would think having no filter would alienate everyone. This name has a hauntingly appropriate meaning for its most famous bearer, Pakistani women and children's right activist and Nobel Peace Prize winner, Malala Yousefzai. I just can’t bare it. And, when I hear “In all honesty” I read this as “I’m being economical with the truth”. I prefer to spare their feelings.
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